On the rare occasion that I have been moved to post twice in one day I have never done it, for fear that my last post may be voided. If I had looked on Facebook when I woke up at 2:00 this morning to post my entry, I may have shifted gears. This one is more important. A Facebook friend’s father died on Thanksgiving Day. In my seemingly dismissive, “My condolences…” response, I could not shake the hurt so many people like her are experiencing today.
Today someone is returning to work having buried a loved one over Thanksgiving weekend. Some are coming to work today to announce they have to go home to get someone’s affairs in order. Some already know their loved one won’t make it until Christmas or will be gone before the New Year.
I lost my Pop-Pop (grandfather)on October 31, 2001. Pop-Pop loved candy. When we arrived at his home, there were bags of it that never got passed out to Trick or Treaters. I smiled at the candy knowing that he would have eaten as much as he gave away.
I lost my grandmother on July 4, 2005. Some dates of death trigger a reluctance to be a part of any of the festivities. I believe dates of death on Thanksgiving going forward have to be among the most difficult to endure. There’s always that first, and second, and third, and fourth…holiday that they are no longer with us.
The older we get, dates of death just become sometime in January, sometime in March, sometime in August. There’s a month to remember our loved one is no longer with us and following that is another holiday season to suffer without them.
Embrace the holiday season and each month that follows. Expect that on the first year anniversary you may find yourself in the same place you are today.
When sadness comes to you, you need to know that it arrives only as a visitor and not as a permanent guest. ~Douglas Pagels
Here’s the thing…to try to replace the sad smirk with a smile or chuckle, please know that Halloween is the ONLY day out of 365 that I hate candy.
My condolences to all,
Kenya G. Johnson