I am at a loss for words. So I am going to give myself 5 minutes and brain dump this out.
It was shortly after September 11, 2001. I had read all of the Left Behind series that had been published up to that point. I had read other excellent Christian fiction books that ‘make you think’ such as Frank Peretti’s This Present Darkness and it’s sequel. I had read a book a called On the Edge by Parker Hudson - this one had the least recognition but is the one I think about most when tragedies like the Newtown, CT occur.
In 2001 after 9/11 and before I had ever become pregnant or had a miscarriage, I had a panic attack and decided I didn’t want to have children. I believed the world was too ugly to raise a child in and I was scared to do it. How could I bring a child into a world of violence, racism and hatred?
As a mother of a now 8 year old I am doing my best to shield him from all of those things. No doubt he’ll hear things on his own but I hope other parents are doing the same as I am and letting our kids be kids and enjoy the freedom of not knowing.
The tragedy of my Kindergarten youth was seeing someone fall off the Merry-go-round and roll under it. He ended up having to get stitches in his head. At 42 years old, I can still recall his scream and the heart break I experienced in wondering how he was until he came back to school.
My time is up...
I can’t imagine - I just can't imagine how the little survivors are feeling today. I can’t imagine the loss - period. It’s not enough for me to say, my heart and thoughts are with the families of the victims. It’s not enough for me to pray or tell others to do the same. It’s not enough for me to shield my child from the harsh realities of the world. It’s not enough for me to cry silent tears and give my child extra hugs. It’s not for me to point fingers at a victim who is not here to defend herself/himself.
It is my responsibility to teach my child right from wrong, to raise him in a loving environment, to teach him who God is, and to set an example that does not condone violence, racism and hatred.
I am not equipped to explain an incident that shatters innocence. I can only be armored by faith, that when the time comes to explain these things, my words will not be judgmental.
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. 11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Ephesians 6:10-13