So I got a ticket. What's the lesson?

So I got a ticket. What's the lesson?

So today was the day. I went to court to settle an Armed Forces Traffic ticket. Just in case you missed it, there's a backstory.

I left home in plenty of time to get lost, because that's my thing. Apparently no state of the art Siri or GPS knows it's way around base. 

I had already asked my husband for directions. Not retaining any sense of direction, I only remembered "two story building with flags in the front."

So I asked the MP at the gate, "Where's building 200 for traffic court?" He said, "Make two rights after the light by the commissary and it'll be on the right." Then he said some other stuff that made me forget.

Two lights right right? Got it.

Did he mean make a right at the light or go through the light and make a right at the next right?

So I kept watching the clock as I made all the wrong rights. My appointment time was 9:45. I was going through the gate at 9:21, thinking I had plenty of time. 

From the direction I came, I found a three story building on the left with flags in the front. 

I walk to the 2nd floor even after reading the sign that room 213 does not say "traffic court".

Room 213 guy directs me to the next building over. I clarify that the next building over means walking distance. It's 9:39, I don't have time to get back in the car.

Next building, room 213 guys says building 200 is the next building over and I need to go to the third deck. I think 3rd floor for room 213? Is there a basement and the 2nd floor is called the third deck?

Leaving each building I am paranoid that the room 213 guys are looking out of their windows at me, shaking their heads and saying, "Women".

I walk at a regular pace, taking care to not trip over such much as a blade of grass.

Out of sight from both room 213 windows, I take the stairs two at a time to the second floor, possibly the third deck, rehearsing my what had happened speech. 

Funny how hot 56 degrees is when you're running late.

Flustered and sweaty now, walking down what I hope is the right hall with my pink ticket to room 213, I arrive at 9:43.

It is just a room. Not courty looking or anything. Four people are in there. Two "court people", a traffic violation person and their significant other - I assume. 

The other couple walks out at exactly 9:45. I enter smiling and say, "Good Morning". Government acting court lady asks, "Last name?" I say, "Johnson", and she pushes paperwork over to court man.

For a moment I think that has got to be the most boring job on the planet. I wonder if she's doing community service or if he can't read.

Court man looks at me and asks, "Where do I know you from?" I shrug, "I'm not sure", thinking this is my first offense.

He asks what my husbands name is and if he drives a something we don't own. I nod, "No."

He said, "What church you go to?" I said, "River of Life." He startles me when he slaps the table, "I knew I knew you from somewhere. You go to the 8:00 service." I nod, "Yes."

He asks, "Your registration current?" I nod yes. He stamps my ticket, I sign something, and he says, "I'm gonna be lookin' for you on Sunday." I say, "I'll see you there!"

Back in the car at 9:50 I'm thinking, that was too easy. 

I sat in the car for a few minutes longer than it took to find three room 213's, trying to find an applicable point for these events and wondering if there's some metaphorical lesson that I missed. Then I thought...

Here's the thing...

I've got a story to tell. 

~The End~

Roots Hummus: Here Today, Gone Tomorrow...

Roots Hummus: Here Today, Gone Tomorrow...

There's no business like 'yo' business...

There's no business like 'yo' business...

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