Three Storytelling shorts, featuring "Who farted?"
Last week when I wrote about not having anything to write about, my daddy commented "I gave you a list of things to write about. Pick one." So with his permission, I present...
Three "related" storytelling shorts...
#1 - The Boo Boo Dance
You know how when kids are little and you say something ONE time and they never forget it? Well, this ONE time, while Christopher was still in diapers and potty training, daddy said "Hey Christopher! Watch me! This is the boo boo dance" as he proceeded to wiggle and flail his arms.
Mom and I both looked at him and shook our heads. I said, "Don't teach him that. He's going to say it at school." I don't know if he ever said it at school but he made a song out of it at home.
Well it's engraved now.
Though granddaddy had showed him the dance, Christopher only used the phrase to embarass me. He did not do the dance, and unless I caught the trance/stance that signaled he had to go, he continued to hide in a corner to boo boo even though he'd been peeing in the toilet for months. By this time he was wearing pull-ups and I tried to watch him like a hawk.
On another visit to my parents house, I was leaving Christopher there for a week. I was talking to mom about his bathroom schedule and was distracted. When I saw him standing behind the sofa it was too late. I said, "Christopheeeeeeer. Did you boo boo in your pull-up?" This was the first time I could see that he was embarrassed and mad at me for calling him out. Mom said, "I'll get him." I was officially off the clock.
A couple days later and after some boo boo dance lessons, mom called. She talked to me in the voice that she used with Christopher saying, "CHRISTOPHER has something he wants to tell you." I heard his breathing against the phone and mom talking in the background telling him what to say. He said, "I boo boo like a big boy." We all clapped from North Carolina to South Carolina. Granddaddy had had a breakthough. Whether it was the boo boo dance or the fact that daddy had to sit on the side of the tub and have a conversation with Christopher while he went, I don't know. But Christopher never went into hiding to boo boo again.
So imagine the man who taught his grandson the boo boo dance to be the man in this next story...
#2 - Who Farted?
Growing up at home, daddy was a mostly a strict father. He was equally very comical and fun. I'd like to compare him to the jello pudding guy but the media ruined that. I digress.
Anyway though my father was a silly daddy, he did not say the word fart and he did not think farts were funny. He did not fart.
So my brother and I only farted around one another. I'll leave mom out of this. In my whole life, I have never known my daddy to fart until...
Daddy and I were tucking Christopher in for the night. I heard the unmistakable sound. It wasn't me. Christopher's butt was under the covers and the sound wasn't muffled. I giggled, "Daddy was that you? Did you FART?" Christopher said, "It wasn't me." I said, "It wasn't me either." Daddy said, "What? I've been holding it all day." More giggles. I said, "I've never ever heard you fart before!" Christopher said, "It sounded like a duck." And then I laughed so hard tears were streaming down my face. It did sound like a duck.
#3 - Flush As You Go
On each visit my parents made to our house, I would remind them about the toilets, "Flush as you go." Mom would reiterate to daddy when he did the boo boo dance, "Flush as you go."
Wherever my daddy went, Christopher followed. He'd often stand outside the bathroom door waiting for daddy to finish. One particular time, I heard Christopher ask, "GRANDDADDY, what are you doing in there!?" I said, "Christopher get away from the door, that's rude."
So Christopher came in the kitchen and said, "Granddaddy is flushing the toilet a lot." Mom said, "Ut oh." When Christopher went back asking "Are you okay GRANDDADDY?", mom and I giggled. A few minutes later, daddy sheepishly came out of the bathroom and asked, "Where's the plunger?" Christopher asked, "What happened in there GRANDDADDY?"