Free Therapy...

Some folks like to get away,

Take holiday from the neighborhood.

Hop a flight to Miami Beach or to Hollywood,

But ...

I wanna stay home, by-yi-yah myself

I’m in a Me Time state of mind......

It’s about that time for Papa Bear and Baby Bear to take that annual trip home without me. I call it annual even though they have only gone twice without me. Now I look forward to it and expect it. It’s a break I so badly need in order to regroup. Pieces of me are scattered here and there that need to be gathered in order to put me back together again.

Two years ago, Mother’s Day weekend, my husband and son left for ten days without me. I can tell you that was the best present I could have ever received. I started writing again. The following poem was shared as my very first blog post, and written the evening they were supposed to come home but had missed their flight:

"Refreshed" 

I got me a tune up. 

It wasn’t free 

It cost me my spare change 

but I spent it on me 

I had time to myself 

to do as I pleased 

I ate want I wanted 

slept ‘til I wanted 

cause I didn’t have to meet 

nobody’s needs 

Don’t get me wrong 

cause I love my family 

A woman just needs time on her own 

to just look in the mirror 

and love who she sees 

My engine’s running fine now 

Cause I was running on HOT 

Mentally exhausted from cooking and cleaning 

you know 

A homemaker I am not 

 I hope for a while that I can keep this feeling 

even staying energetic 

from all with what I’m dealing 

My wish for women everywhere 

is to get a tune-up 

So that all in her life 

is more than 

just fair.. 

Life, like the sun 

can beat you down 

have you running on hot 

Thinking ‘bout not who you are 

but all that you’re not 

Women everywhere 

Turn a dream to reality 

Believing there are endless possibilities 

of 

Wherever or whomever 

YOU want to be 

Believe in yourself 

Believing is free 

I believe 

I am all that I thought I was 

and know 

There is more of me to be 

Let us allow God’s sun 

to refresh our soul 

‘til we believe as we should 

We are whole 

God is good 

and 

Life is grand 

My tune-ups got me so I can bend without a flinch 

Doing my chores now 

seems like a cinch 

Listening to my music 

dancing my way through the kitchen 

Now thinking ‘bout my family 

My family 

who I’m missing 

I drank the fine wine 

Dined on my dime 

In my own space 

In my own time 

Here's the thing... I feel like I've had a session from reading that again. What's your free therapy? 

Opening lyrics from Billy Joel's New York State of Mind

We can be a little catty...

Now that swimming is “in season”, the swimming registration line was very long. This time last month I was third in line at 9:30. Today, I didn’t count, but I was probably the 25th. So what do you do when you are by yourself just waiting? 

This is an instance where, Me, Myself & I play a game of I Spy.

Here’s what was going on inside our head:

I spy with my grown up eyes...

• An ugly pair of “those must feel good” sandals.  Me, Myself and I are annoyed that she has beautiful feet and could pull it off. We looked down at our feet and realized we are wearing our, “they feel good” Clarks and our self-pedicure was not without effort. Then we look all over for ugly feet until we find some to make us feel better.
• Two hideous purses. One looked like she stepped off the ship in Acapulco and bought the first straw purse she laid her eyes on. The second one looked like it was purchased from an antique garage sale; if you opened it there you might have found crochet needles and yarn inside. We realize we might be a bit of a purse snob. We won’t buy a used or handmade bag; however we won’t go broke over a designer one either. 
• A little snotty nose. Myself wonders when the mom is going stop cattying chatting with her friend and get a tissue out of her fancy designer purse. 
• A fresh effortless looking haircut. Myself refuses to pay the lady a compliment. Me smiles at her when she realizes we are staring. We now want our own “fresh look” haircut eventhough we realize we don’t have effortless hair. 
• Eight iPhones with cute cases. Myself takes ours out to make it nine. 
• A large family. Me wonders why dad and the kids couldn’t have stayed in the car or at home for that matter.

I chastised Myself for wondering if a lady was pregnant again. Me said it was obvious that she hadn’t lost the baby weight from the one she was holding. I was reminded that we had been there and looked like that when having a baby wasn’t an excuse. 

I could relate with the mom who pulled out her cellphone for her little one to play Angry Birds but Me wondered if she could turn it down a notch or give the kid some headphones. 

When it was our turn register, we feel like we didn’t take as long as anyone else did. We smile at the last person in line. Myself is smug about getting there 30 minutes early; Me says make it an hour next time. 

Are you ever catty inside of your head when you don’t have anyone to be catty with? 

Here’s the thing...even if I did have someone to be catty with I never would have said any of these things. I would have waited until we got back in the car.

Facebook Status follow-up…

So here’s how I got out of the birds and bees talk with a turtle:

Facebook status (reformatted for blog): 

Christopher said, "I wanna know how babies are formed." 

I said, "Huh?" 

He repeated himself. 

I said, "I'm getting ready to cook dinner." 

He said, "Can't you talk at the same time?" 

I said, "No, I need to look at a recipe." 

Hopefully my husband will be home shortly. Let's see how I can cook this 20-minute meal in slow motion. 

***************

A few minutes into my marathon meal he says, "Mom when you get done I need to talk to you because I have a lot on my mind and its gross."

It was about this time last year when he insisted on knowing which part of me he came out of. Finally I blurted out, “My private parts,” and he said, “So, what? You can’t tell me?”

Yes, that was the end of that conversation.

***************

So when he said he had something on his mind, I was really freaking out.

Turns out the gross something on his mind was about so & so putting barbecue sauce on their carrots and ketchup on their peas. 

I was relieved. We might be onto something with distractions. So I carried on the conversation about how disgusting that was and did you know some people put ketchup on eggs…

***************

A couple days later someone replied to my Facebook status:

How'd the talk go? Are you still cooking dinner? 

I gave her the short story. But what had happened was….

I was pulling the trashcan to the street when I noticed a small turtle. I went back in to go get Christopher. I was thinking to myself, this is just the distraction I need. I showed him the turtle shell. I said, “Pick it up and bring it in the yard so he doesn’t get run over.” Christopher said, “What’s if he pokes his head out and snaps me.” I told him I didn’t think it was a snapping turtle.  He continued to stand by with the, I’m not going to touch it look.  I said oh geez, where is your father as I looked up the street, thinking, I’m gonna have to pick up the turtle to show him there is nothing to be afraid of.

I picked up the turtle and in my mind I was saying, ewww ewww ewww as I made it a few steps to our mailbox and put it down.  This was a major. I don’t like buggy insecty reptiley things.

Christopher then brought the turtle the rest of the way into the yard. My husband came home a few minutes later and they walked it to a nearby lake.

So here’s the turtle. What? I said it was small.

Here’s the thing… a few days later I’m still saying, “Ewww I touched a turtle” , but it did buy me some time.

 

Autographed copy w/ bookmark

Good to the last drop...

I recycle, I turn lights off when I leave a room, I unplug things we aren't using, but I wouldn't say I was saving the planet. I like to take long showers, and I'll do so while the washing machine and dishwasher are going. Sometimes I hang out clothes, or I might be using the dryer during the least energy efficient time of day. If living green meant the amount of veggies I eat per week or the amount of green accessories I have, then yes, I live a green life.

But seriously, I don’t like to waste things. I am usually the one who finishes the leftovers, the ketchup, scrapes the jelly and mayonnaise jars clean. I’ll use the broken slimy little piece of soap and rescue it from going down the drain if it escapes my washcloth. I'll use my solid deodorant down to the plastic or until the small solid chunk falls to the floor and breaks to pieces. I mix water in with the bottle of liquid laundry detergent to rinse the residue out for one more load of laundry. 

The word residue is one that I can remember asking my mom, “What does residue mean?” She was cooking and I was helping. I remember that it was cream of mushroom soup. As as exclaimed that I was finished, she said, “That’s good, but you have to get the residue out like this” as she proceeded to clean the can with the spoon.  I repeat, you have to get the residue out, in my head, in her voice, every time I am scraping a can clean. 

When I was in high school, I earned a generous allowance with chores that included doing the dishes and ironing my brother's clothes for school. With my allowance, I learned to budget and save. My allowance combined with a $2.50 an hour paycheck from my job was to pay for my clothes and entertainment. I never had to ask my parents for money.

At the time I was wearing a hairstyle where I shampooed my hair everyday (uncommon for black girls).  I would use the conditioner twice; once to soften my hair and then again to rinse it out slightly (a leave in conditioner effect).  This gave my hair a naturally curly appearance as it dried. I guess excessive use of the products I shared with my mom was getting out of hand. She came in my room with a bottle of conditioner and asked, “Did you put this in the trash?” I replied, “Yeah it was empty.”  

I don’t remember how she demonstrated that the bottle was not empty but she said, “If you are going to waste shampoo, you can start buying your own shampoo and conditioner with your allowance.” I said, “Fine”, like it was no big deal and I started buying nicer shampoo.  Remember the Jhirmack hair products? This was during the time of Dallas, and Victoria Principal was in the Jhirmack commercials. 

I started buying all my toiletries. It was at my expense so I could pick what I wanted and no one could tell me how to use them. Here’s where the learned lesson came in. When I got to the bottom of the shampoo, conditioner and lotions I had purchased, I turned them upside down until I couldn’t get anymore out.  I never wasted a drop of a good product. I won’t discuss all the hair products I have wasted money on over years. That would be contradicting myself.

************************

Christopher has been at the bottom of his toothpaste for about a week now. Groaning on Monday morning about going to school, he was tired of hearing how there was still more toothpaste in the tube. He couldn’t get it out. I squeezed the last of it out, demonstrating how as I worked it from the bottom to the top. He was not impressed.

When he came home that afternoon, from the direction of his room, I heard a happy, “THANKS MOM!” as if I had left him a surprise. I said, “What?” He said, “For the toothpaste!” I had been to the grocery store. 

Here’s the thing… I bet my mom didn’t know she was teaching me a a life lesson. I wonder if I am teaching Christopher one now? 

Monday Marketing 14

Welcome to the 14th Monday Marketing linkup! Link up a blog post that you have written providing information regarding your book, service or merchandise. It's that simple, you must have an active writing blog. See example here:  

Each week I will promote a consistent participant in Monday Marketing who has also provided retweet info in the comments. This week the spotlight is on the creator of the jewelry found at BeadedEmbellishments.

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RT Check out this beautiful summer jewelry @BEmbellishments http://ow.ly/b1Z0Q  #jewelry #MondayMarketing

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