Gone To Soon

I feel sad today. Part of it is the stupid fountain of youth. The hormones make women have all kind of emotions. I thought I was fine until I wasn't. Then it was that time of the month and I said, "Oh that explains things." 

Last night I was looking at some pictures - looking for something to share on Throwback Thursday. I came across a picture from when I was middle school. My brother and I were sitting on a bench at the train station. My mom and grandfather are standing up. My daddy had taken the photo. What was neat about the photo is that I had the body language of a typical child today holding a cellphone. All I needed to do really was photoshop in some earbuds and it really wouldn't look out of place. Ski jackets are back in style aren't they?

Anyway, then I turned over the photo and looked at the date. It was taken in December 1982. Two months before my grandmother died. (gulp)

Then I looked at my mother's face. Mom looks like she's holding on tight to her emotions. I can read her look and know that she's knows that next time she will be back it will be for a funeral. There's pain in that expression.

So I thought I was fine until I wasn't. I had just turned 12 in this photo, so mom was 29 I think. That is way to early to lose your mother. I couldn't imagine the past 14 years without my mom.

And so then I felt sad for my mother 32 years ago and I cried. 

I remember the following Christmas Pop-Pop came down to spend it with us and for the first time he was the only one getting off the plane. 

We had my grandfather for much longer but still he was gone too soon. We lost him 14 years ago. It would have been 18 years after this photo was taken.

So I thought if I released this stream of consciousness into cyberspace, perhaps my sad cloud would be lifted.

At the moment it doesn't feel that way and today I don't think I can push through to the 400 words.

383 words

Kenya