I don't like this day...

Dear September 11, 2014,

Sigh. I don't like this day. I've decided to take another day off of social media and television just to not be connected in that way. 

I don't want memories to be rehashed in the way that media does it.

This may be a dumb statement because it's been 13 years, but I was wondering if this has made it to school history books?

I haven't wanted to talk to my son about September 11th. I wonder if it's necessary and thinking certainly in a few years he will learn about it in history lessons. 

He was born into the world we live in now so he doesn't know before 9/11.

I remember on that day, my husband was out of town. He was due to come back the next day but he was delayed a few days until he could get a flight home. That was one of the loneliest evenings of my life. 

I lived in Florida at the time and not long after the news reported "terrorist attack", our office shut down and everyone was headed home. If I didn't have to be to work the next day I would have driven home to South Carolina. That day after I got home I sat on the sofa in our living room watching television. I stayed there all day until the room darkened around me. I didn't take off my work clothes until it was time to go to bed. 

That was the year my husband and I decided that we would start trying to have a baby. We hadn't been successful in a month after getting off birth control as I had hoped. The whole "terrorism" in the United States sort of gave me a panic attack about bringing a child into this world and I decided I didn't want to be a mother. How soon before we would all be gone from this earth anyway?

I got over that fear and finally got pregnant with my son in 2004. I'm still scared for him. Our world is corrupt in so many more ways than it was before 2001. While I'll do my best to protect him in our little corner of the world, I won't always be able to do that. 

Sooner than I'll want to, I'll have to lift the veil on his innocence and show him what this day in history looked like and how we are not as free as we once were.  414 words

Kenya